“I feel like I envision a lot of hamstrings getting pulled and a lot of bumps and bruises out there.” – Joe Flacco
Happy Manic Mondayyy
Hope everyone’s finishing their morning coffee, and done explaining to the people on the left and right of them how their weekend was “relaxing, but too short” TEEHEHEHEH
Love cubicle jokes.. they are so funny. I feel like everyone’s sense of humor standards go way down as soon as they step in their office. I like to stay engaged with my boys while at work so my standards don’t go down.
My favorite thing about Monday is my betting account is at 0. Nooo credit = happy Stuey. So let’s get down to busyness.
Money Line ♦
Colts +1 vs Ravens
Prediction: Colts
Monday Night Football is back and I am in heaven. Since it is day 2 of me blogging, I am going to do some real research for this one. What a boring game for Monday Night by the way. I don’t understand how the NFL can’t figure out that a Colts vs Ravens preseason game isn’t chell. Take the teams that drafted the most exciting players and match them up vs each other. This is why the NBA has their shit together and Goodell is still focused on the whole #Ihatethepatsgate.
But I digress.. I think. Flacco vs Luck. They kind of look the same.
I think Luck…
I think Flacco…
They both throw to the other team so often, but also can put up some points in the process. I am thinking both QB’s come out firing, and Luck plays longer because he’s getting himself back into game shape so he makes more of an impact.
Both teams have young RB’s that are trying to earn starting roles going into the season. I think Nyheim Hines pulls it out vs. Jordan Wilkins and this game kind of turns into a shootout.
If Luck and Flacco went to the bar together I wonder what they would talk about. I bet Luck likes red wine and Flacco likes Franzia. I also bet Luck listens to jazz and Flacco listens to Big Tymers. I feel like Flacco’s one of the coolest guys in the nfl and he doesn’t even realize it.
That being said I just think the colts are going to score way more points early on and then the running game will shine from there. First real analysis done in one of my picks and that is when things will start to go sour. “There’s a big difference between winging it and seeing what happens, let’s see what happens.” -McGruber
#Chalkitup as Colts by a snowflake
#ChellBet ♦
Okay, time to get fratty with this. It’s Monday, all your credit has been reset, we’re going to make a #chellbet and we’re going in as confident as can be. Peep the bet below:
T Fritz vs. M Jaziri – Tennis
Berrettini -165 vs. Benneteau – Tennis
B Paire -135 vs. Lennard-Struff – Tennis
Liverpool -1 vs. Crystal Palace – Soccer
Okay, lets start with Fritz vs. Jaziri. Fritz is way better and only 19. He might be the next great american tennis player so we should all jump on the bandwagon while he’s still kinda stinky. He also looks like he grew up playing country club tennis from age 4 so I’m putting my scrambled eggs in his basket.
Now, lets move on to Berrettini vs. Benneteau. Berrettini is way better. They may even be the same person, who really knows.
Next, Paire vs. Struff – Paire’s hair is so chell so he’ll win 100%. He kind of looks like Adam Levine does for at least one episode of the Voice every year.
I think Adam Levine playing tennis..
I think Paire guest-hosting the voice..
Liverpool vs. Crystal Palace is a tough one but since its -1 and not -1.5 you have to pick the Puuuuule. They may even win the premier league this year they are so good. Keita, Mane, Salah, tell me wayyyy more.
I really think this parlay is going to hit and me and my 4 followers are going to be rich and then throw our money at the 1 billion future followers who don’t realize how good this analysis is and are missing out.
Because it is Monday I am going to leave it at these two bets. Hope we win and everyone has fun and don’t blame me if we lose 🙂
Love!
@jujustuster – Instagram
@stueykaplan – twitter
Chalk It Up 